new attitude

I've wanted to write for a week about trying to have a new attitude concerning parenting.  This blog was suppose to keep it real.  I didn't want to be one of those moms who pretend that everything is amazing and pretend that I've got it all together when in actuality being a mom is hard and sometimes I barely keep afloat.  Honestly, I loved my midwife's great advice, "it's a good day if you brush your teeth."  Thankfully, Dan was very supportive and did/does a lot of the housework and cooking.  Reflecting on the past 10.5 months though, I'm feeling that maybe I'm using "this is hard" as a crutch to not do somethings...maybe be lazy or not prioritize well.

Ok, I don't really feel lazy.  I read a million books to Julian, sing songs, dance, take him on outings, give him all my 1:1 attention (no computer when he's awake), etc.  The kid is showing amazing progress in his development and it scares me at how crazy smart he is at 10 months.  I know, I know, every baby is smart, but I have no frame of reference...so let me be a mom and brag and boast about how my kid is so smart...ha ha.  Anyway, I'm tired.  Julian goes 3 days sleeping well to 3 days of no sleep or being so restless that none of us sleep.  It's exhausting, but I don't want that to stop me from being productive around the house or spending time with my friends, or calling the people I love.

So, back to keeping it real and the attitude change.  I'm not going to mask things and pretend that I'm the most organized, best mom ever who has everything under control, but I don't think I'll share how hard my life is and convince myself that I'm a terrible mother with a kid who is very high maintenance.  From now on I will try to be completely honest to God and ask for the strength to get through each day and share with you all the amazing things that I'm experiencing as the mother of Julian.  "Just being honest" doesn't help anyone, and what I've found is that it can hurt people, especially me if I'm crippling myself with words of failure.  "A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back" (Prov 29:11).

Now, this doesn't mean I'm not going to share the difficult moments, but I'm asking God that I don't have a defeatist attitude.  So, the story that you've all been waiting to hear.  I wish I had pictures of this mess.  Julian was in his seat waiting to get breakfast and was quite fussy.  I was hurrying getting some fruit puree ready to mix with his yogurt and oatmeal.  He scream and I swung around and the fruit cup hit the refrigerator,  flew through the air, and fruit puree covered the fridge, the floor of the kitchen and living room, splattered the wall, ceiling and rug, and kept splattering for what seemed like 30 seconds.  I kept hearing, splat, splat, splat...  It was EVERYWHERE.  I yelled for Dan to come and help me and he just shook his head.  I'm a spiller, but I have never made a mess this big.  It was hilarious looking back on it and to state it again, I wish I had gotten pictures of it. =D

Oh, I like this blog post:
http://bloomingtonbirth.org/blog/2013/02/27/building-up-my-calluses/