Desperate for Sleep

This is going to be a rambling post of all the things that have been going on in my mind about sleep and parenting.

For the past two weeks, I think since the weather turned colder, Julian has not been sleeping much at night.  He is up every 1-2 hours and I'm exhausted.  We had to put on a space heater, but have been adjusting it to get the perfect temp for him.  That dried him out, so his face broke out more in a rash, so we have a humidifier to adjust as well.

We also stopped swaddling. He takes naps without the swaddle and does ok.  He sleeps anywhere from 30 min-2 hours...but mostly 30-40 mins.  He always has his hands up over his head, so I was thinking it was mean to swaddle him.  Also, how is a baby to soothe himself if he doesn't have his hands to do so?  J does soothe himself with a swaddling blanket (yes, I put a blanket in his pack n play...shame on me), because he likes to stroke it and have it by his face.  I've been so desperate for sleep though, that sometimes I swaddled him, but he's still up every 1-2 hours.

I talked to two good, Christian friends about why it seems that over 90% of my Christian friends use the cry-it-out method while those I don't associate with a faith do not.  One friend said it had to do with authority in the home and the other talked about how we are born into sin.  This is a long topic to discuss, but the best part was that they both were supportive of me not using the cry-it-out and said, " you're a good mom" which was a real blessing.  I really want to discuss the human race being born into sin, authority, etc., but I'll have to save that for another post.  Well, I probably won't do that since it's a face-to-face sort of topic since just words can be taken wrong and I don't want to offend anyone severely...and I don't have my whole view set in stone.

To start off the discussion though, I don't have a problem with others using the cry-it-out method, kids are resilient, but in my humble opinion, I do not think it's appropriate for a baby to cry-it-out when they don't have the means to self soothe.  I was told by some Christian women that they'll sleep better because they wear themselves out.  Yes, I believe that, but I think it's cruel to get their heart beating so fast, respirations out of control that they're choking, etc.  My patients would sleep better if I let them panic themselves to sleep instead of caring for them too.  Now the flip side...if this is a will issue that they don't want to go to sleep because want their own way....yes, it's time to cry-it-out.  Their sin cannot rule the roost.  Oooo...let the discussion begin!

J is getting to the point where he can put a pacifier in his mouth.  Now, if he could only do that when he's upset!  His nap times are trials of fussing it out.  He usually just sucks on the blanket until he gets bored and then cries for me. I am working on his separation anxiety and will about him needing to see me at all times though.  If he doesn't get his way...knowing that I'm leaving the room, I do not respond to his cries.  I wait until he stops then enter the room and start a new activity so I'm not teaching him that if he cries, I will beckon his call.  This is hard knowing that developmentally, he does not know that I am still there even though he can't see me.  I feel it is unfair, but I can't have him ruling the roost and he starts crying before I leave...so this is his will.

Anyway, I have been so desperate for sleep that I was ready to do the cry-it-out or anything to get some sleep.  One reason I can't, J still sleeps in our room.  It's sort of hard to feed him at 1 am and then when he wakes at 3 am to just let him cry while he's in our room.  Thankfully, I got some answers from a lactation consultant at Bloomington Area Birthing Services' Nurse and Chat.  She told me that solids were not going to help him sleep (that is not what I wanted to hear) and that he's growing so much neurologically, that he needs to be close to me and possibly eat often with all that brain development.  (Oh my, I can't wait to write his 6 month post to tell about all development!)  She also talked about him being distracted while eating and that maybe he's not eating enough during the day, so makes up for it at night.

DUHHH me!  He gets so distracted while eating that I allow him to pull off (ouch!) 5 times and then I stop his feed.  I stop quite a few feeds because he's so distracted, but yesterday I loaded him up.  I fed him more often than every 2 hours even and he ate really well.  I was so excited for him to sleep well, but then he got congested :(  Bummer!  He was so stuffed up, he could barely nurse to sleep and then couldn't hold the pacifier in his mouth (a bad habit that I started for sleep time) because he couldn't breathe.  I suctioned out his nose which helped, but it got congested quickly.  Yup, I lost last night.  The poor guy was miserable.

I'm just praying that this will pass quickly!  I need sleep, Julian needs sleep, and of course Dan is running on little sleep and has teaching, job applications, researching, and article submissions looming over him.